i am currently drowning in homework and study for exams, im in yr 10 and i have to do more exams than the yr 12s! how does that work! and besides maths i have to study the WHOLE YEAR of work! its not like that in vce. poos. also some of it is such crap. like i care about how an aqueous solution is formed. who cares than when atoms from group one bond with atoms from group 7 that they trade electrons and then theyre happy? i dont give a fuck if the ATOMS ARE HAPPY! i have chronic fatigue - for almost 18 months now. i can't keep up with all this work. i have to be at skool all the time now and thats something i just can't do! im becoming an insomniac - you can tell from the dark cirlces under my eyes and when i do sleep ive been grinding my teeth, so much i put holes in my reatainer. there a very few people who understand what its like to have this. even my shrink doesnt get it. yes i see a shrink. his name is lee, and hes pretty cool. i have to see one because wt this illness im at risk of depression, anorexia and OCD. all of which ive suffered a bit from. i suffer from OCD when it comes to cheaking things. i always double check things or triple check. my bestie is overseas and she knows me best and sometimes i feel as though im surrounded by people but im all alone. i worry about my weight a lot too. i weigh less than 50kg, so technically im underweight. and i have this terrible fear of being over 50kgs. and even when i can count my ribs i still worry. this illness sucks. i dont know when it will end, theres nothing that you can do i just have to "deal" with it. there are no tests and no cures and some people, doctors actually think its all in my head. the only thing thats in my head are my migranes.
anyway moving on. i cant believe schools almost over. less than 4 weeks to go. plus 2 weeks work experience. than i have 9 weeks of freedom.
criminal minds and spicks and specks are on tonight!
- maddy
"Just to prove that I adore
Every inch of sanity
All I'm asking for is, all I'm asking for is
We'll laugh as we die
And we'll celebrate the end of things
With cheap champagne" - Drowning Lessons, My Chemical Romance
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